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Art and Failure

Recently I read an article in Duke DIVINITY magazine that was in defense of Christian kitsch. You know the art most of us call “bad” or “tasteless”. The mass produced “junk” you buy in any gift shop. I was hoping the author would have some profound way of looking at kitsch that would help me understand it and better embrace it but in the end he only confirmed my feeling, it is just mass produced junk. I would go so far as to say soulless junk.

Yes, that may seem harsh but let me explain what I mean. First off kitsch is soulless because it was created for the sole purpose of making money. Possibly the original “art piece” before it was mass produced had uniqueness and heart but somewhere between the first and 10,000th piece it lost that uniqueness. Yes, I understand we live in an industrialized world, and the ability to mass produce things is a defining feature of our age and what we have come to call success – sell a million units of anything and it was successful. And when it comes to my iPhone and car there is clear value in mass production. It allows the rest of us to own these highly technical devices. That is the big difference between art and a car. I could never make a car, aside from a kit car, but I can make art.

Art is something accessible to everyone. Sure some are better at it than others, or at least we have determined that some are better than others. True art is when someone bears their soul to us and spreads it on a canvas or carves it from stone, welds old pieces of metal together, arranges words into stories, or organizes ones and zeros on their computer to create something that came from inside them. They did not create the art to make money but to express what lives inside them. Sometimes it is joy, other times it is sorrow so deep only by pounding on stone can they drive it out.

Arguments about kitsch and high art only help to drive this gift from God further from its purpose. Since we are told by marketers and critics alike what art is good, we have scared too many people away from expressing themselves through some form of art. The further we drive people from even trying art the more we separate them from failure. Yes, you read that correctly. We drive them from failure. Not even the masters picked up a brush and painted a perfect picture the first time. Art is not always about perfection, art is about finding beauty in mistakes.

Since we are all scared of creating something ugly – bad art, we run from art, hiding in the shadows of lame excuses like “I am not artistic”. You mean you cannot paint like Van Gogh?! Who cares – that does not make you non-artistic. No, it makes you afraid of what others may think.

Watching Evelyn, my 22 month old daughter, draw makes my heart glad. She likes to tell me every crayon is yellow, even the green one; and then laughs as if she is saying “I know Dad, I am just playing with you.” Her crayon drawings will never hang anywhere besides our refrigerator and if you applied the world of art criticism to them you would say she failed. Sure she failed, but that is the point. Art is the place you can fail in beautiful ways and NOT care what others think.

I say this, but I wish I could heed my own advice. Every time I finish a piece of art I rush to get approval from others. I want people to say “I love it! Go hang it on the walls of the Guggenheim or sell it for thousands of dollars.” But if I made the art for the right reasons I would be scared to show the art because I am showing them a piece of my soul I cannot express through words. I am showing them a piece of me no one else has seen before.

I think Stanley Kubrick said it best when talking about film, “A film is – or should be – more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what’s behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later.” That is art. It is about finding a way to express the emotions that cannot be expressed any other way. God gifted humanity with art as a way of expressing the un-expressible, and the day we fill our walls with kitsch instead of moods and feelings is the day we squander this great gift from God.

The author of the article about kitsch was right that high art is not better than kitsch but he was wrong to say it was better than high art. Both miss the point. Art is letting yourself fail in an attempt to express something deep and profound. I will never be able to capture the deep unexplained parts of my life but art let’s me give form to them.

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?” God ask Job and his friends. I, like them, cannot answer that with words but through spattering paint on canvas I somehow connect with something deep inside I did not even know was there. I connect with God in a way I never knew was possible. Quit saying you are not an artist and hiding in the shadows of excuses. Create, the meaning will come later.

By Jeff Nelson

Jeff Nelson is a video producer, designer and artist who lives and works in Durham, you can see some of his work at www.variableforce.com.

The Root of All Evil...Anxiety?

Here’s what I’m thinking about today: ANXIETY. I live my life eaten up with it, and I’m wondering why? Does it serve any useful purpose at all? Or is it, not money, the proverbial “root of all evil?” I’ve rolled around in my head comparable words such as worry, distress and fretting. My analytical mind, which probably has gotten me into this current state, tells me that there are differences between these words. Anxiety seems to be less defined, more unfocused than worry and distress. And fretting is simply the outward expression of both.
What I’m relatively certain about is that anxiety undermines everything that is good and holy in life. It erodes focus, stability, inner peace, and trust. The dictionary says it is an “apprehensive uneasiness of mind.” Yes, that seems to sum up this pervasive feeling that the sky is going to fall or the other shoe is about to drop. If we live with this dis-ease every day, havoc is unleashed on our body, mind and spirit.
“Fret not thyself.” That’s what the Psalmist wrote. What a great line: Fret not thyself! The Bible is rich with reminders and cautions against being “anxious and troubled.” We are told not to worry about food, drink, clothing, or for that matter tomorrow. Peter writes: “Cast your cares on him for he cares for you.” And The Apostle Paul says: “Worry about NOTHING.”
Luke is so bold as to ask the probing Dr. Phil-type-questions: “Why are you anxious? Why do you let these negative thoughts arise in your head?” I suppose it would be too flippant (a la Flip Wilson) to say that the devil made me do it! Truth be told, I do it because deep inside of me I believe it is expected of me. I’m not supposed to simply take things as they come. There’s no virtue in being unprepared for unseen expectations or situations. That’s part of my answer. The bulk of it however, involves selfish pride, that desire to be in control of everything. And since I don’t know what might be coming my way, I am a living breathing bundle of anxious anticipation.
Phew! It feels good to give voice and focus and definition to my self-doubt about my ability to meet life’s demands. It’s not an absence of faith and trust in God that plagues me. It’s an absence of self-assurance.
So for today at least, I’m going to concentrate on casting my cares on God, remembering how much God cares for me. When things fall apart (And of course, my anxious self just knows that they will!), expect my next blog to be about the other root of all evil……………GUILT.

Ruth

Thanks for the Faith, Mom and Dad

As I think back on my childhood (I know, I don’t actually have to think that far back-but nonetheless, it’s still thinking back) I am immensely grateful for my parents. Any time I was successful, they were there. Any time I was struggling, they were there. It is their constant presence, which I now know and appreciate to be support-not obnoxious hovering, that has helped mold and shape me into the young professional that I am today.

It seems like yesterday that I was sitting at my kitchen table working through math homework with my ever so patient father, who never got frustrated as I fumbled my way through Geometry proofs. Or sitting at the computer with mom, making sure each of my English papers were as concise as possible, five “finished” products later. Words cannot describe how grateful I am for my parents, I am not sure I would have the drive and passion that I have today, if it was not for their constant patience, and their faith in my potential to succeed.

As our “Parenting” sermon series comes to an end, I think about the role that I hope to play with the ASUMC children’s ministry-each time I reflect on this thought, the same passion and dedication that my parents put forth with my siblings and me comes to mind. It is that passion that I hope to bring each Sunday to all of the children at All Saints. To reach to each child on an emotional level, and help them further in their relationship with Christ, with the patience of my father at the kitchen table, and the dedication of my mother sitting behind the computer. If it were not for their faith in me to become an innovative young adult, I would not be where I am today.

-Laura Pierrie, Children’s Ministry Coordinator

What Have You Learned from a Child This Week?

Some of the best times I remember growing up and in a previous church where I served were the times we were all together – from the very young to the very old. Multi-generation family gatherings were always a special time at my grandmother’s farmhouse (especially when watermelon was involved). My parents’ Sunday School class summer fish fry at the park by the river was always lots of fun. The Advent and Lenten Workshops at the church were times of learning and creativity that filled the halls of the church with a sound that must have been like music in heaven. We really can learn from one another when we share in experiences together – even when it means watermelon juice all down the front of your shirt or hands sticky from glue and construction paper. More often than we adults care or dare to admit, children have much to teach us. Especially in the family of God, it’s not just adults who teach the young. After all, Jesus held a special place for children and on a number of occasions said something to his disciples and followers like we find in Matthew 18: 1-3 – At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

So that brings up the question – what have you learned from a child (or youth) this week? Here are a few things I’ve learned from children and youth. From children I’ve learned it’s OK and actually a good thing to ask questions. I’ve also learned that children understand, accept and relate to the mystery of God much better than I do as a well-educated adult. Youth have taught me the blessings of the struggle to define my relationship with God and to own faith for myself.
We are embarking on an adventure at All Saints’ UMC on Sunday mornings from September 11 to October 2 that will be a time to learn from and with one another – of all ages and family configurations. This Intergenerational ConneXion Experience will meet in the Media Center at BCES from 9:30 to 10:15am. We’ll be exploring basics of the Bible, prayer, worship and service/mission together. Come join in the adventure! Who knows but you may even learn something from a child.

Sue Ellen Nicholson
Minister of Administration and Discipleship

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

I was born into a family of extroverts. Perhaps that explains why I told everyone I was adopted! I simply could not imagine sharing DNA with people who go out of their way to meet strangers in order to get to know them. Undetected existence in the shadows was fine with me. I believed that without knowing and being known one could avoid all sorts of ills: For example, embarrassment, vulnerability, rejection, and discomfort. When company would drop by I would hide in my parent’s closet to avoid having to talk to them or God forbid, play the piano for them. I can’t say that I was happy in my isolation, but I was safe.

Those who know my childhood still cannot believe that I became the pastor of a large membership church before I retired back into relative obscurity. God has a wry way of dragging us out of our comfort zones. Look at all the people in the Bible who hid behind their perceived inadequacies. Abraham and Sarah laughed at God because they knew they were too old to birth a nation. Jeremiah whined that he was too young to be a prophet. Moses stammered that he was too inarticulate to speak to anyone on behalf of the Hebrew slaves, and especially to Pharaoh.

My, how God uses us, even against our will, for our own good as well as for the good of others. Today I am serving the church as a volunteer staff member with the primary ministry of welcoming and offering hospitality to those new to the congregation. Perhaps because I was so shy and uncomfortable with new situations while growing up, I feel a passion for easing the way for others by removing the shadows of unfamiliarity and awkwardness. This often happens as I assume the uncomfortable position of initiating contact and the possible embarrassment of putting my foot in my mouth. The Apostle Paul spoke of becoming a “fool for Christ.” Sometimes it’s difficult to differential this from just being a “dang fool.” Nevertheless, I have come to find radical hospitality to be a higher calling than conservative withdrawal. It is only as we step out of our comfort zones, that solitude becomes community, and community becomes Shalom.

Growing up there was a hymn I used to play on the piano for our youth fellowship. It taught me that life is not all about me. And sometimes it’s not about me at all!

Lord, help me live from day to day

In such a self-forgetful way

That even when I kneel to pray

My prayer shall be for others.

This week wherever you go keep your eyes open for those who need you to take on the role of the initiator. Consciously put yourself in the vulnerable position so that the other person will be the one at ease. You will never believe how mutually blessed both of you will be.

Fearfully and Joyfully in Christ,

Ruth

"Life is just so...daily!"

“Life is just so… daily!”

I don’t know who said this but I do know that it is one of my favorite quotes that one of my favorite artists (Mary Engelbreit) has illustrated and it perfectly describes just how I feel some days. I often think about this quote in reference to trying to have a set aside time with God (what many folks refer to as a devotional time) during the week – inbetween Sundays. So much demands my attention and so easily distracts me from setting aside intentional time to be with God and to pay attention to God – is that your experience also? “Life is just so….daily.”

There are lots of good resources to help us in our devotional life but several I have found to be most helpful are online resources that can be visited on a lunch break at work or just when you need a mental break during the day or late at night in the midst of checking email. While I certainly don’t recommend these “quickies” being all that there is to a devotional life – at least in the busyness, maybe when we can only catch a minute, we can be open to God’s presence in our lives. Some of these will lead us to a deeper and longer devotional time and that’s even better.

If you’re a visual person – Sight Psalms might be the option for you. These are pictures emailed daily that offer a one line thought or psalm. The link to subscribe is http://sruach.tumblr.com. A friend of mine has found these useful in her devotional life and recommended them to me.

One year during Lent I committed to daily prayer while I was eating my lunch using a website for Daily Prayer Online: www.sacredspace.ie. This one takes a little more time, especially if done to the full extent. The daily prayer takes us through various aspects of prayer and includes a Scripture reading and reflection on that reading. When I have used this regularly I have been blessed in that discipline.

Another one that I have just recently discovered offers an audio lectio of the Gospel lectionary reading for the week. This is a prayerful and particular way of reading and reflecting on a passage of Scripture. Lectio divina is the name of the practice and having an audio for it enhances the practice – especially if you are doing it alone. This is offered at the Alive Now website (www.alivenow.org). Alive Now is a great printed devotional resource that I use in my personal devotional time (old school) but there are also great resources on the website to use. I have gained meaningful insight into passages of Scripture through the practice of lectio. Who knows but what you might even better connect to the sermon on Sunday or offer Greg a new insight for having done this devotional time during the week?

There are also a couple of daily devotions that can be emailed to you – the Upper Room has that option as does Our Daily Bread. We really have no reason for “life to be so….daily” without at least a few intentional moments spent with God.

Hoping you’ll find LIFE in the midst of the daily!
Sue Ellen

If you really want to know more and go deeper… this from Five New Ideas from the UM General Board of Discipleship – July, 2011:
The Upper Room has created “The Power of Daily Spiritual Practice” video series to encourage deepening your spiritual life through daily reflection. Simple, short and straightforward, the videos feature publisher Sarah Wilke offering insight into the transforming power that comes from being in the presence of God through scripture and prayer. The online videos are free at http://bit.ly/mVajxx. So far the titles include 1)Muscle Memory; 2)Quieting Your Mind; and 3)God Speaks Through Scripture (lectio divina). The book recommended in video 3 – Creating a Life with God by Daniel Wolpert – is excellent. I have read it and have it in my personal library to loan if anyone at All Saints’ UMC would like to borrow it.

Strangeness at the Table

I often feel that our practice of Holy Communion must appear really strange to an outsider. It is hard for me to imagine, but I sometimes try and picture what it would be like as a total newcomer sitting in the back row. How weird, the climax of the worship is a shared meal of bread and wine (or juice, as in our own tradition) which is celebrated as the body and blood of our once-dead-now-living God. I know, that is quite reductionist, but would that not be about right if you were in that situation?

So then I wonder, what do we have to say for this practice? What do we have to show for it, in explaining its significance to such a newcomer? If we are to show anyone that this experience of partaking in a feast of the body and blood of the living Christ is to mean anything, what do we have to share?

I suppose it would start in how we continue to live after the meal. All Saints’ has practiced “dinners for eight” in the past, where a small group of congregants meets regularly for a shared meal. Caroline and I have participated in this with a couple of groups since joining the church, and it has been a life-giving experience. It is an embodiment of fellowship and a family outside of the traditional notions of blood relations.

I spend a great deal of time talking about the table, nearly every chance I get. I have recently been writing about our table practices and theology with Greg as we work on resourcing an active and vibrant small group life here at ASUMC. And I find myself relating most things in our lives to outpourings of table living. I called my own church a “table-centered community.” I certainly hope it really is. There is no doubt this worshipful meal is a strange occurence. Yet uniquely Christian, our God shows us that he provides for his beloved creation in every way, taking our smallest needs seriously enough to provide us with daily bread. In this expression of body and blood we find a God willing to share his Son, his very Self with us in the most intimate ways possible. I recently asked our youth, “does your family eat together?” Most said yes. Then I asked, “what does your family meal usually look like?” Most responded that they were quick, often in the living room in front of a television or at restaurants and drive-thru windows. So I then asked, “what should your family meals probably look like?” They responded that they should be around a table, without the distractions or hastily-prepared food, a time of talking with each other. Fundamentally getting to know each other, and share in life together. How odd, that they can so easily recognize the problems with their current expressions, and yet most do nothing about it. Life cripples along.

And yet there is another disturbing quality to that table we share on Sundays in worship: it is open to all. All. I am not sure I fully understand that word. Do I open my table to all? Surely not. I go out of my way to avoid sharing a meal, especially in my own home, with many specific people in my life. So I wonder what it would look like to open my home and share bread with those I do not like. What would it look like to have a meal with people whose beliefs make my blood boil, whose outspoken self-centeredness makes me grind my teeth and whose very lives are antithetical to what I think life should look like? I am not sure at all, but I bet it would be a more honest expression of eucharistic living.

Perhaps I will take babysteps, and start with one or two.

- Cameron M., Intern Pastor

GRAPHE Prayers for the Fourth Sunday after Pentecost, July 10th, 2011

Collect
In you, most blessed God, we find ourselves filled with life and in awe of creation: Gather your people yet again that we might hear your Word, share in your peace, and celebrate your sacraments. Fill us with the wonderful assurance of your plan for the whole world, that the Holy Spirit may guide us and sustain us through the power of Christ our Lord. Amen.

Prayers of the People
We come together in grateful worship and to offer our prayers before you, God of our salvation. Hear our prayers this morning as we ask your blessings for your people across the world, that we might all be filled with your glory and live according to your will.

As we offer our prayers this morning, let us respond, “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done.”

Lord, guide your Church that we may reveal your love for the world, witnessing to your mighty work of salvation and showing others what it is to live in your peace.