Here’s what I’m thinking about today: ANXIETY. I live my life eaten up with it, and I’m wondering why? Does it serve any useful purpose at all? Or is it, not money, the proverbial “root of all evil?” I’ve rolled around in my head comparable words such as worry, distress and fretting. My analytical mind, which probably has gotten me into this current state, tells me that there are differences between these words. Anxiety seems to be less defined, more unfocused than worry and distress. And fretting is simply the outward expression of both.
What I’m relatively certain about is that anxiety undermines everything that is good and holy in life. It erodes focus, stability, inner peace, and trust. The dictionary says it is an “apprehensive uneasiness of mind.” Yes, that seems to sum up this pervasive feeling that the sky is going to fall or the other shoe is about to drop. If we live with this dis-ease every day, havoc is unleashed on our body, mind and spirit.
“Fret not thyself.” That’s what the Psalmist wrote. What a great line: Fret not thyself! The Bible is rich with reminders and cautions against being “anxious and troubled.” We are told not to worry about food, drink, clothing, or for that matter tomorrow. Peter writes: “Cast your cares on him for he cares for you.” And The Apostle Paul says: “Worry about NOTHING.”
Luke is so bold as to ask the probing Dr. Phil-type-questions: “Why are you anxious? Why do you let these negative thoughts arise in your head?” I suppose it would be too flippant (a la Flip Wilson) to say that the devil made me do it! Truth be told, I do it because deep inside of me I believe it is expected of me. I’m not supposed to simply take things as they come. There’s no virtue in being unprepared for unseen expectations or situations. That’s part of my answer. The bulk of it however, involves selfish pride, that desire to be in control of everything. And since I don’t know what might be coming my way, I am a living breathing bundle of anxious anticipation.
Phew! It feels good to give voice and focus and definition to my self-doubt about my ability to meet life’s demands. It’s not an absence of faith and trust in God that plagues me. It’s an absence of self-assurance.
So for today at least, I’m going to concentrate on casting my cares on God, remembering how much God cares for me. When things fall apart (And of course, my anxious self just knows that they will!), expect my next blog to be about the other root of all evil……………GUILT.
Ruth
